A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away....

I’ve been toying with the idea of writing about a movie for the past 3-4 days. But it scared the hell out of me. Ok, so what’s the big deal? Both the People’s Council of China and the junta in Cambodia have expressed through written communication that they’re okay with the idea of me writing about another movie. Then? It’s the name of the movie which is setting me back, because the name is, so unnervingly for any connoisseur of the silverscreen art, “Starwars”. Now you get the magnanimity of the problem at hand.

There are two extremes of people who’ve seen the movie. The guy who sat in the next row to me; a forty something chap wearing a lungi and carrying a three-fold popy umbrella, desperately hoping to catch some sleaze in the Engleeeshu-padam. The poor chap had his moment of Nirvana when at the end of the second half, Natalie Portman appeared wearing what looked like a super-mini. That’s one end. And on the other extreme, we have people who know every single character in the movie by the name, shape, number of eyes, planet of origin, or procreation methodology. People who take it up as a thesis for their doing their PhD. People who greet each other in the morning saying “Let the force be with you”. By the way, that’s quite a nice way to say hello, but I think it’s a little inconvenient. Maybe we should abbreviate it to LTFBWU, duh, maybe we should stick to Hello.

So naturally, it was with this thought of being a part of something really colossal in its effect on humanity, that I stepped into the theatre, and there it was, all empty save a few small groups cuddled here and there, and a guard questioningly looking at me and suggesting to ask, lad, do u think u’ve landed up at the right door? I took a step backward and checked the name once again, yep, I am at the right place, at the right time. And with a wistful sigh, I marched in. And the numbers remained disgustingly low till the movie began, and that too, on the second day of showing in this town. This is the capital city of Kerala, the state of 100% literacy and a substantial English speaking population. We fit Engleesh dialogues into every improbable scene in our movies and boil in our seats at the sight of our heroes delivering them thunderously on-screen, the thunderous effect created by the unnecessary emphasis on their “t”s and “p”s rather than the merit of the script. Yet, we refuse go and see an English movie which is part of moviemaking history, and dismiss it as just special effects supershow, stuff worth watching for kids and teenagers only. Probably they should start showing alien sex in the movie, and our people will flock in to watch naked aliens copulating, I’m sure.

After three hours, when I walked out of the hall, the transformation of Anakin Skywalker to Darth Wader had etched its mark into my psyche. Why do I always have this funny feeling when watching something turn bad? I had the same thing when watching Smeagol becoming Gollum, Harry Osborne turning against Spiderman…. Maybe its time I went and saw a shrink, before I turn into something catastrophic for the planet. The same could not be said about the entire audience, though. Some were even thanking God for the series getting over, and some other, were making plans to watch the sequel which was going to be released next year!! :-D.

The fact that there won’t be another Starwars movie made me rather despondent through the rest of the day!Maybe I should get the dvds of all the episodes and watch them over and over again, a new finding, a new insight unfolding each time!