Posts

Showing posts from 2006

Of killing the past...

Life's all about moving on. Shedding the scales, and getting a new one. Well, easier said than done. Because, accept it, we all love our pasts. We would be happier if one day, we could just walk back to our house and find it as it was ten years ago, those days when you were spilling over with the excitement of having discovered something called"college". Your room would be adorned with posters of Gabriela Sabatini(remember her?) or a very boyish looking Sachin Tendulkar! You'll once again open and adore the new "action shoes" that you recently bought. You had just heard about Nike and Reebok then. You're discovering the first signs of real conflict with your parents, when you've just hung up after that call from a girl in class. "Oh come on! She's just a friend. You guys just dont understand". Its another matter that you secretly admire her and you, with a couple of close confidante friends are plotting big time to break it out to her o

A night's tale

It was really uncharacteristic of me to wake up in the middle of the night. I mean, I dont usually get up in my sleep even to piss. But here I am, having woken up like a shot bang in the middle of deep sleep. Wondering what was it that caused the sudden rush of adrenalin, I try to close my eyes and retrace the fading realms of any dreams I might have seen... or more likely, nightmares. No, there isn't any. I am wet. Err, I mean, I am sweating. I sharpen my ears to listen to the drone of the ceiling fan, which has a habit of melting in your ears once it goes on for a while, pretty much like the tick of the clock. You cant hear it unless you really strain your ears and concentrate. No, I dont hear any. The power must have gone off. And that explains all the sweat. I scrambled up, almost stumbled upon the bean bag, but found my way to the blacony door and opened it. Ah! what a relief. It was so cold and crisp outside. There was no moon but I could see the silhouettes of trees. And the

A perfect start to the week!

Image
It took about 38 Megatonnes of will and 5 snoozes on the alarm and 2 phone calls to make me lumber myself out of bed today, limp towards the bathroom, spend a rather unsuccessful 15 minutes there, and treat myself with a bone-chilling bath at 3 am in the morning. Am no masochist, mind you, all this because Sydney runs four and half hrs ahead of us. And my client happens to be there. So I drive 27 kms to office, kill two toads and almost kill a cyclist on the road, sing aloud with Alanis Morissette to keep myself from dozing off while driving, reach a deserted and ghostly looking office (duh! I need more choices in life, I sure do) and wonder why there aint been a call on my mobile yet, despite I being 10 minutes late for the meeting...I will most surely sleep off in the meeting, coz I was late to bed yesterday, after having a rather harrowing experience in trying to reach home in an overcrowded KSTRC superfast. With all this conflicting deliberations in my mind, I open my calendar, to

wait a sec..

Somewhere inside my head, there still lives a faint memory of those days when the first thing I used to do after coming to office would be check my blog, reply to comments, wonder why there are no comments, check statcounter and see who all were reading my blog.. then think about the next post etc...go blog surfing... I realize I need to stop, and take a breath. And look behind, and around. I've been so really out of my own being I realize. Thank God there's at least a saving grace!

Pictures...

My camera has been largely lying idle for sometime. But this is what it has been doing in between.

Monsoons!

Image
It has started. As always, the metereologists' hit the bull's eye this time too, they predicted the monsoon will start exactly on May 30th, 11:23 am, right after you'd have pulled up your zippers after taking the first break of the morning. So it started last week. Actually I don't remember when, but today I suddenly realized it had, and had been for quite a while. We were just about to finish our lunch and I heard the noise, sudden, unmistakable. The sound of approaching rain. And it came down with quite a brute force, some people in the restaurant actually got scared and deserted their lunches halfway and ran for their lives. And before they could complete two full steps in the open, they were as wet as they ever knew. Each drop was the size of an ostrich's egg. Thinking what's with the raindrops and ostrich eggs? You should have paid attention in 12th grade when they taught about terminal velocity and surface tension and stuff like that, instead of sizing up

I coudn't help but compare..

I guess, I just wont have enough of comparing... Then: It's a sin, sitting a minute more in the office after 6. My fingers find its way immediately to Windows+L, and I spring up. Watch all the ladies hurrying towards the door, grabbing their falling handbags, lunchboxes, shawls, sarees or whatever. I make way for them, wearing a weary smile. 6 o clock is normally the time for the top-rung managers too, the suits (none of them in a suit, actually) looking at their watches and walking swiftly, those leather-finish laptop bags on their shoulders... Whereas the menfolk are waiting impatiently, to let their ties lose and start getting a bit loud now. I come out, pick up the helmet, and run down the stairs. Am in no hurry, but I just love running down the stairs. I reach the bike-parking lot and try to remember where I parked mine. There are a few guys smoking and chatting with each other, with coffee in one hand. I find her, from among a hundred others, stuffed into every inch of space

10 things I miss from my previous job

Read someone's meme and thought about this. Mind you - this is in no particular order.. oh yes, it is in the order that it came to my mind, and you know things can get pretty messy out there, wherein the first thing I think about after waking up in the morning could be taking up a netflix subscription when I go onsite, after which, comes relieving myself off 8 hrs of liquid waste! U get the idea.. 1. Evening tea at Hotel California: If u r in technopark, dont be surprised by conversations like these - Software Engineer No. 1 (SE1) : Hey man, how ya doin? SE2: Awesome! havent seen you lately? SE1: yeah I had been onsite... California! Came back yesterday. U seem to be in a hurry? SE2: yeah, going onsite man... coming? SE1: Sure, lets go! SE2: And lets go to California after that, u got a bike na... Naah, we dont have such motorcycle buffs out there who'd think of taking up a world round-trip in their bikes.. anyway not since I left. Hotel California, alias Cali is the littl

Non-starter

I dunno what is it that makes words drain out when you have a lot to write. I have the world to tell about, and I cant find a single word to start the proceedings. If you dont believe me, this is the fifth time I am starting off, and hopefully the last, before deciding this is the worst start I could ever hope for, only until I started again! I realized my problem, just now. These things I want to write about, are of gargantuan dimensions for sure, but they are so, just for me. Neither do they possess the the quality to create any interest in an audience like the Friends - season 9 could, nor do I possess that quality to make it sound interesting as someone like Dave Barry could. So having realized my handicap, and having set the expectations straight, its much simpler now. I am just going to write for myself. One would never really get a true list of the happiest moments of his life until the moment he dies, as was seen by Lester Burnham, as was told by Sam Mendez. I liked that scene

Trivialities

I'm simply astounded by the capacity of the human mind. To sink down deep into an abyss one day, to bounce back and fly high the next. To love unconditionally. To stubbornly believe in individualism but be ready to sacrifice everything for another. To find strength in the weakest, bleakest of moments, and pass on the strength to someone else. It's then that the age old Hindu notion of mind/soul having an existence of its own begins to make a lot of sense. Its just unacceptable that something of this immense profoundness shall perish along with the mortal physical state of existence. Just unacceptable. After 2 months long and arduous effort, I managed to finish “The motorcycle diaries” and move on the next book. Arduous was other things, due to which the reading had suffered, and not reading in itself. Otherwise, it’s not at all a tough book to read. The resemblance to “zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance” is just in the name. There’s no metaphysics of quality here, just t

The pain, killer.

I had waited a few weeks for this. To find some time. To get out. To be alone. To face the wind. Finally, after all the pitching and rolling, and the settling in of dust, I found myself wanting to get out this last weekend. And I did. I threw the camera into a backpack, and hopped on to the bike, and set out. And I would never know what was it that I forgot to take this time. I listened to the sound from the exhaust, and all I could hear was the mechanised drone, and not sweet music. I missed the wind on my face, then realized heck, I had the helmet on. What was the helmet doing on my face now??? I felt irritated at the thumpings from the road, transmitted uncomfortably through some delicate parts of my body where it came in contact with the bike's seat. I watched in silent indifference as I saw fishermen, with their precise, dance like steps threw their nets into the water, neither feeling the temptation to suddenly park the bike and run along to get a snap nor see what catch was

Some day!

I used to wonder what's with the April Fool's day on April 1st. Until I met this person and she told me when her birthday was. Then it all began to make sense. Happy Birthday, N!

Your carma just ran over my dogma!

"Open the bonnet..." "Err, huh?" "The bonnet! Open the bonnet" Wait a minute, I thought I told you to do the 'vahanapooja' for my new car, not the Engine inspection. And I thought you were a priest, and not a mechanic. And what with all the costume and the pot-belly and stuff? Mechanics dont have pot bellies, for God's sake. They need to get pretty deep under vehicicles, and pot-bellies don't help. In fact pot bellies wont help if you want to get deep anywhere, for that matter, if you know what I mean. Thats why they say get settled and get over with everything before you start getting those dreaded roundies, or else, be smart enough and make enough money to hire secretaries. I'm digressing! I opened the bonnet. He took a coconut and cracked it open on the floor, lighted agarbatthis and smeared 'kalabham' over pretty much everywhere. The 'Rocam' engine, air-filter, fuel injectors, batteries, radiator... god, he knows whe

peevish...just!

I started this post as a comparison between now and then. Then being the time immemorial when I was leading the lazy spoiled bachelor life in a town far away from my home. And now being, ugh, no, don't get me wrong. I am still single for Pete's sake. Now I stay at home. Just. Which means there is the bed coffee, folded sheets, pressed clothes, good healthy food, mother's love and a multitude of other comforts which just escapes me at the moment. But it also means, there are no cigarettes, no rumbled and soiled sheets, no stuff thrown around untidily in the room, no magazines to rummage through before I could find one to go to the toilet with, no bad food, no noisy bowels, no headaches due to hangover... I woke up in the morning today and saw mom buying fish from a vendor, in a boat, in the river. Took my camera and took a picture, immediately, and settled down to read the newspaper with coffee in one hand, in the balcony, facing the river. How peaceful is that? A little too

Wayfarers...

I didn’t recognize him first, as I entered “Vishnu”. Vishnu is a small restaurant, “Hotel-tea shop” as they call it, and serves food fresher and tastier than any of the much more expensive restaurants around. It was dark inside, and my eyes took time to adjust, so I dismissed the dark silhouette as just another of those unhygienic lost-in-darkness kind, the kind that you see on the road every now and then, the kind that you take extra precaution to avoid. And then I realized he was staring at me. I almost gave a start when I looked at him. His eyes were completely devoid of any sign of life, face unshaven, hair unkempt, and he wore something that looked like it has been ages since it has seen a drop of water or a pressing iron. I tried to smile, and later corrected myself, when I saw him failing miserably attempting to return the gesture. I sat down by his side, and ordered food. He went on with his eating, raising his head occasionally to look at me. He seemed like begging, without

How blind we become...

The chair was comfortable. Very comfortable. Perhaps this is the only time I’ll be able to appreciate it. I looked at the floor. A few fluorescent lamps glistened on its mopped luster. I registered all the shapes, the angles, and the symmetries and asymmetries of the lounge. I will never see this place like this again. I will become one among the people hurrying past, never having to bother to appreciate the room and its features. I felt like that person in a music video I had seen, standing still while everybody hurried past. The room and myself, still, and conversing to each other, without making a sound. It is three years since I had done a similar thing. Another place, another office, similar situation. Then I so comfortably slipped into the role of the passer-by. Often trying hard not to notice the people waiting in the chairs. Familiarity makes you take things so much for granted, that you fail to notice them. Only until the moment comes, when you stand to lose them. Then the sha

Visuals...

This is how I spent the weekend...

laundry service?

Image
Welcome to the armpit of India. Alang, where end-of-life ships from the First World come to die. Beached along the coastline like dozens of decomposing whales, the carcasses of ships are dismantled, disemboweled and dismembered until not even a bolt remains.This is a place that progress purposely forgot, but conveniently remembered when it needed to defecate. No high-tech machinery here, no Makita drills and no Hitachi cranes, just 40,000 migrant labourers working in subhuman conditions, scantily-clad, unprotected, bare-footed, scrabbling with their bare hands to meet the steel mafia's quota and earn a miminum wage. Scurrying like ants on fresh road-kill, workers haul miles of cable out to burn on the beach, use blowtorches to cut through pipes containing oil and gas that often explode in their faces, and expose themselves to hundreds of debilitating chemicals that surround them 24 hours a day. Read more... Just what do we think we're doing? How long will the invertebraete GoI

Pictures...

Here r the pics , from last weekend's trip

On a good note....

00:00 AM, 1st January. That’s the time when everyone is throwing themselves around (or up, depending upon how much you’ve consumed) and hugging each other and kissing each other and wishing each other and all that. That’s a moment when everyone loves everyone else and greets everyone else with their best smiles and …. Scree…eeech!! My altruistic New Year vision comes to a sliding halt! “Shut your bloody mouths and get your dirty asses inside, or I will beat the shit out of you bastards!!!!” That’s what we got. Those were the first words spoken to us in 2006. Or the Malayalam equivalent of it. Which sounds slightly worse. And thank God, we were still on the right side of alcohol intoxication, and the testosterone levels were kept under check with a small effort, and our brains seemed to have registered a few facts – 1. Unfamiliar territory 2. Armed, more powerful opponents 3. Bad light conditions… 4. Possibility of more forces joining the ranks What the heck, we were just a bunch of dru